Lost and Found
by Krapo
Summary: At the end of the filming for BJ. Something happend... Bad Summary, read to find out. M for chapter later.
1. Chapter 1

_First of all, I am sorry for all the mistake i can make. English is not my mother langage so i try to do my best. If someone want to be my beta reader, i would love it._

_I don't own Skip Beat and any of the caracters_

_(I have stop my reading at the chapter 177)_

_**Lost and Found**_

**Chap 1 : The end of the game**

The shooting of the role of BJ arrived at its term.. She was his protective talisman, she had only with her presence contained the darkness of his heart. She, only her, was the antidote and the poison. She have save Kuon, but he sank more into irrational love sickeness. Restraint with their roles of Heel Sibling, he had been close to her, too close. More she had grasp her charactere as Setsu and more she showed attention to him. Unconsciously, she begin to focharactere

When they left the studio this night, they went back together to the hotel to take their lugage. Into the taxi, Cain and Setsu stay quiet. Cain was lookin throught the window wherea Setsu slept her head resting casually against her brother's shoulder. The streets scrolled throught his eyes. The night had fallen since few hours already and the empty gray big blocks of shops look like sad. He sigh. He felt so lonely whether she was near him. He didn't exist for her otherwise in this damn « Brother » or « Sempai » mode. He look at her head pressed on him. He began a movement to raise his hand toward her and held on by squeezing his fist.

He can do anything. I should better forget her.

He rested his fist on the seat of the car and closed his eyelids to look within him to find concentration and force. I have to fight against himself, fight against his feeling that he isn't allowed to feel. I would succeed like he had in the past succeed to contain his darkness. He would succeed because he had no other choice. He would overcome, he have to put his heart in a icy box and lock it. It was his resolve and his new fight.

Snuggle against him, she was rock slowy by the vehicule's move. Her fac pressed against his leather coat, she was intoxicate with his parfum that she was able to recognise between the cigarette smell attach to his clothes. She would not be able to tell you why, but this smell, his smell, was jus anought to calm her down. Instinctively, her arm embrace him around his waist. « Her Brother » ! « Her beloved brother »... was next to her. She smiled in her sleep. That was the exact definition of hapiness for Setsu.

That made three month that she was his sister. Three month that she share his daily life. She began to love this rôle much more than when she was playing as Kuon. She can fed up to be Setsu, to pick fight with Cain, to push him in different kind of situation to see his reaction , to discovert every day more about him. She like so much be able… to see him... to touch him... To smell him. She... She love so much... to be with him. Tonight would be their latest hours together. She knew in advande that to finish with this charactere will bring her a lonelyness feeling like her « father » told her before. She tightenned her grip like to stop the time, like this simple gesture can keep him with her.

The car stop in front of the hotel lobby. The frightened taxi driver sigh in releaf when the giant with dark clothes go out from his car and when the lady paid him. As soon as the taxi's door was closed, the car flew away, and he looked at them going into the building from the mirror. He had been so frightened when they came inside his car. He wondered during the way if he would not be found killed in some dark area. This night he would go back home and he was so thankfull to still be alive.

Cain went inside the hotel always followed by Setsu. He pass over the look that rested on them, his face dark as usually, he walk through without hesitation. Setsu closed their room's door behind her, it was the end of the game. She was still in the small corridor, She was almost like crying as she felt she was losing something important. She look at her « brother » move in the room, a cigarette between his lips. He collected his stuff quietly. Indeed, for him it was different ! He was a professional actor. It was just one charactere among many other. For him, it was just a work that finish... She envied his detachment. She admired his professionalism. He was so strong, so gifted in his acting.

- « Setsu don't just stand there ! Don't think that i will collect your stuff, your a big girl you can do it by yourself... »

- « Ok nii-san ! »

He sat on his bed and he finished his cigarette while he wait for his 'suppose to be' little sister. Cain spirit had left him prematurely and he had to concentrate to find the force to not capture in his embrace the small frame in front of him. He imagined squeezing her and kiss her before... He cleared his mind quickly before being overwhelmed by his desire. In a sudden move, he get up and catch his luggage. She was stunned by his reaction and after one second she jump on him in the hallway.

- « Where are you going nii-san ? Wait, i am almost done ! »

His eyes fell on the girl who clung to his arm so hard. A sad expression slipped a split second in his eyes before being erase by his acting. He love her to the point to be painfull. He love her to the point to not be able to control himself if he stayed more near her. He had to go away in any case. He turn his face toward the door, apparently calm, but it was just to not see her, to not be tempted.

- « i thought taking some time before you arrive with Miss Jelly Wood... We will meet dowm Mogami-san »

« Mogami-san », he call her by her real name, so the game was over. She released the sleeve of his clothes and let him go. She fix the door during a long while. The game was over. She felt alone and lost. She restained herself to embrace him and ask for few secondes more, fem minutes... few hours. She didn't want to finish it. She didn't want. She was probably still under Setsu spirit to feel the need to snuggle one more time with him...

She sighed, as ''Mogami-san'', she had no right to do something like that to her sempai. She had to switch her feeling and to become again herself. She lay on his bed and buried her face in his pillow to stifle a sob. A tear crashed on it. She didn't know what to think, what to feel. Who was she ? She felt no more be Setsu, but what were those emotions that josteld in her head. Was it the residual effet because of her part she had lived and developed on a too long period ? Was it because she liked to be Setsu ?... because she liked to interact with him ?... to be with him ?

Her face deeply buried in his pillow, she recognised his smell. Her eyelids closed, she let herself be overwelmed by a image flood of this last few month, this last few weeks, this last few instant...

She left her dream when she feel a shake in her nightmare box into her innermost of her heart. Nshe was nearly screaming as she understand that the 'Tsuruga' effect was close to affact her. Panting hardly, she went into the bathroom and washed her face with cold water. She erase her make up like she was trying to erase her feeling. She needed few minutes to get her back and convince herself that she was finally she look at the miror, she was able to smile at her. She can only see her normal face although she was still wearing her wig. She was safe !

Ren went into Miss Jelly Wood's caravan in the hotel parking. For the 'last goodbye' to the part of the Heel sibling, the president was here too. He welcomed the young actor with a smirk.

- « So Ren, how was this filming ? »

- « Humm »

- « And where is your protective charm ? »

- « She will arrive »

- « Everything went well together ? »

- « hmm »

- « You're not really talkative... can you tell me more ? »

- « There is nothing to say... I will get back Tsuruga Ren identity now if you're agree with it... »

The president scrutinized the young man face while he went into the caravan.

- « Ren... tell me... »

- « There is nothing... »

If he didn't know him well, he would not have feel this abyss, this pain that he hide behind a quiet mask. What have he done to push them together ? In this second, He felt like he had enlarged his protege wound, to have pull out from suffering to throw him in another.

Kyoko came quickly after that. For her too, the atmosphere was heavy. She didn't semms confortable, but she tried to smile like usually when she met the president eyes. She was a little ashamed to be so unease. She hated herself to not be a real actress like Tsuruga ren who was able to jump from one part to another one without this kind of trouble. Downcast eyes, she crossed her Sempai, who had recovered his normal self and she entered after him to get back her belongings to change.

The actor seems to have again full control of his emotion. He sat near the president into the car which drive them to their houses. Lory looked at him few minutes before broken the silence.

- « Ren, i am here if you need to talk... »

- « There is nothing to say, but... »

- « But ? »

- « I may have a request... »

- « Which is ? »

Looking strait, with a calm voice, il ask for having few day to rest. In a different situation, the president would with no doubt make fun of him, Ren the 'work addict'. In a different situation, he would have ask million of question, why, where and everything else. But right now, he knew that Ren was exhausted, that he was on the verge to fall into tha abyss and that he need some rest to get back his energy to accomplish his dream. He look at the actor face which was like marble. Nobody would be able to come throught his armor in wich he was confined

- « Take as long as you need, it must be nearly five years that you didn't take any holiday »

- « One week... ten day max would be more than enough. »

The president nod to agree. How could he refuse him anything ?

Kyoko and Miss Jelly Wood came into the car relax the awkward silence by their presence. Kyoko was alrealdy smiling with the make up artist effect, as put on her clothes bring her back her quiet life. But her apparent peace of mind was disturbed with her Sempai voice. « Mogami-san », since when hearing her name make her feel like a poisoning narrow come through her heart ?

- « Mogami-san, i would like to thank you for your excellent job »

- « Really ? You think that i acted well ? »

- « You're a real actress now, you was able to create and developt a charactere very complex as Setsu. You made her life until the end for several months. Congratulation, i think that i have nothing else to teach you ! »

She was proud and in the same time so sad. What did means his last words ? Will he stop teaching her how to act ? Stop help her ? Stop... see her ?

- « Mogami-kun, i know that you really search for Ren approval in your act, but it's not a reason to cry like that... » add the president while giving her a handkerchief

She quickly dry her tears to not let them understand that she wasn't crying with joy.

- « Thank you... Thank you a lot Tsuruga-san ! But i have so much to learn ! »

- « You have understand the most important, everything else will come after... » Ren accompagnied his words with a gentle smile wich was able to melt even the largest iceberg.

He was so proud of her, the way she had become in such a short time. She was a real actress even if she didn't realize yet. She was much better than all the other with whom he had worked until now. He took of his eyes from thoses with hints of gold as he felt his heart sink again and he turned to the president to regain composure.

- « President, Is it You or Me who have to give approval for the 'Love Me' Mission ? Launched Ren with a cheerfull tone.

- « Sorry ? »

- « Mogami-san was here as a Love Me member, isn't it ? »

- « Hmm, It's true... as her Partner, I let you give your thanks »

Ren heldout his hand to his co-worker without she does react

- « Don't be afraid, this time i promise to give you your 100 point. You deserve more than that... » he add with a angel smile.

Kyoko cheeks turn bright red as she give him her little notebook. She was unable to look in his eyes and he tried to focus on the notebook to not betrayed himself. He felt as if he look up to her, his mask will be totally broken. He need time to keep his contrôl.

To save time and regain a attitude, he affixed several stamps on the paper, inventing congratulations on congratulations, thanks for giving him the reply, thanks for meals, thanks for being his temporarily manager, thanks for bieng his ''lucky charm''. She recovered the smal notebook with shaky hands. Was this a way of saying goobye ? As a graduate before leaving school ? She didn't want so soon... She didn't want...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 :**

Ren found himself sitting on his lounge carpet. Leaning against the edge of the sofa, his gaze got lost in the view of the lights of Tokyo. He moved his alcohol glass to his lips without stopping to contemplate the view spread out before him. He'd conquered this city with his work, but now he doubted his choices. Taking another sip of the brown liquid, he felt the whiskey burn at his trachea. Soon the beverage would penetrate into his veins and anesthetize his heart.

He just wanted to stop loving.

How could he do that? He had no idea how to suppress this emotion. It was, after all, the first time he had fallen in love, and it had happened in spite of himself. He had believed that he'd be able to control it. He'd believed that after Dark Moon, he would manage to block his feelings again, but the more time passed, the more he was invaded. Even the darkness of Kuon disappeared in the face of the strength of this love. The President had been right. She was the most powerful charm against himself, so powerful that he began to dissolved under its pressure.

Ren's head tilted back to knock against the couch, eyes closed. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, and he set his empty glass on the floor. He had to take back control.

He got up and headed to his bathroom. As if in a daze, he carefully removed each item of clothing, one by one, before throwing them to the stone floor as if he hoped to remove a burden by getting rid of them. In front of the mirror, he observed his face. Who was he at that moment?

Kuon?

Ren?

Where was the beginning of his true identity and the end of his lies? He didn't have the right to fall in love. He wasn't here for that. Nevertheless, he was no longer in control.

Ren stepped into the shower and lingered under the powerful jet as he lost track of time. Water ran over his skin, spilled over his neck and along his shoulder blades, sliding slowly down his spine. Eyes closed in the warm raindrops, he mulled over possible ways he could erase his feelings. Erase, or simply lock them tightly in his heart as he had before when he was Kuon.

His sleep was agitated as he poured over the dilemma, in spite of his exhaustion. Tossing and turning in his bed, he was unable to stop the feeling that had grown in his heart. Would he have to avoid her? Would he have to cut all ties with her? Because of her, his mind was no longer able to focus on his main objective, his acting life. He had to find a way to clear his mind, a way to reset his feelings, because he could not endure in this situation anymore. He could not continue on without going crazy and possibly hurting her.

Ren decided to take a trip outdoors in nature, like he did when he was young, to clear his head. He hoped to find answers far away from the tumult of his life.

The sun had just begun to rise when he stepped out of his apartment. He'd hardly slept, but he knew there'd be no rest for him as long as his mind was troubled. He tossed his small travel bag onto the back seat of his car and started the engine.

The road was vacant at the ungodly hour and he was able to exit the city in record time. He left a message on Yashiro's voicemail before entering on the freeway and heading to Takayama. Cities morphed into fields, but he failed to pay attention to the landscape, focusing instead on the growing mountain in front of him.

He was here. On these snow-covered summits, he would find his peace. Here, on these icy peaks surrounded in solitude.

He parked his car next to a mountain equipment shop. He quickly stepped into the shop to avoid attention, taking no time to look around. A saleswoman began to greet him with a polite smile on her face for her new customer, but as she got a look at her favorite actor's face, she froze.

- "KKYAAAAA! TTSSSUU––TSSSUUURRUUGAA REENNNN! KKYYAAAAA!"

Ren stifled a laugh. He'd forgotten that he was no longer Cain Heel, and as Tsuruga Ren, he couldn't even shop for supplies casually without everybody going into hysterics. He gently asked the woman to calm down, to please not scream, and to help him stay incognito.

His angelic smile was nearly enough to make her faint, and, totally red, the young lady tried to do her job and help him. Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest, and she felt like she might have a heart attack. Tsuruga Ren was in her shop and she was helping him. He was SO much more gorgeous in real life, and so tall!

The young actor managed to escape the shop without any more incidents. He took his equipment and his new map and went directly to his next destination, the mountain.

Morning was nearly over when he began his climbing. The weather was clear, and snow had disappeared from the mountain base, melting into rivers and encouraging green growth in the forest. The pathway he was taking crossed through a wood with big trees. The musty scent of the wet, leaf-coated earth rose to his senses. Birds sang as they flittered invisibly through the trees, and occasionally, with the crunch of a stick under his feet, a small critter dashed away unseen.

How long had it been since he'd been out like this? He'd loved it so much when he was young, being surrounded by nature. He'd already recovered some sense of well-being and was able to let go of his torment.

The scenery transformed quickly as he rose in elevation. Snow covered the ground. Nearby, broken wood and rocks were piled in what appeared to be a dry creek, perhaps created by a small avalanche. Ren slipped on his spiky shoes and a jacket to face the colder temperature before continuing. He walked non-stop, just to clear his mind. The cold wind whipped at his face. It seemed that no one else had taken this route, for all around his was spotless white. He heard nothing but the rustling of his step in the snow in the absolute silence of the mountain. He consulted his map and spotted the site where he would spend the night. The wooden house had nothing comfortable but he was relieved to be alone at least. At this time of year, hikers considered these trails too dangerous, so he could enjoy perfect anonymity in these places.

***  
>It was four days since BJ filming had ended, and Kyoko found herself back in her calm life and her habits. She was bringing documents to Sawara-san when she ran into Yashiro-san. Four days without seeing HIM and she had to admit that she missed him. She'd hesitated to call to invite him to dinner, because she didn't dare think that her sempai suffered the same nostalgia she had for her role. She greeted Yashiro with a huge smile and looked around from the tall frame who always accompanied him.<p>

- "Hello, Yashiro-san! I haven't seen you for a few days. You must be busy with Tsuruga-san hectic schedule. On that subject, where is he?"

The manager seemed strange, and Kyoko noticed that was acting abnormally nervous.

- "Well, in fact…" he began to stammer.

- "In fact what?" she demanded suspiciously. " Yashiro, he's not on another top secret mission, is he?"

She was a little jealous that he would be on a mission without her.

- "No, it's not that. It's just…"

- "It's just…? Or do you not want to tell me?" she joked.

- "Hmm…In fact, I don't actually know where he is."

- "I beg your pardon?"

Yashiro exploded in his four-day long attempt to restrain his anxiety.

- "I don't know where he is! He left town with only a cryptic message on my voicemail a few days ago, and I've had no news since. It's impossible to contact him! He's going to give me an ulcer, disappearing like that! Even the President doesn't know where he went. He took a few days off on his own, and of course there is no sign of him anywhere. No flight records, no hotel bookings, he is going to drive me crazy!"

- "He disappeared? But it's impossible! He must have disguised himself and changed his name, or we'd be hearing about him in the news. If something had happened to him, the media would have quickly spread it…he's Tsuruga Ren…. He must be sipping a cocktail glass in some quiet place," she said, without really believing it. Like Yashiro, she couldn't understand the reason for his sudden disappearance.

Ren hiked another three days though the peaks before intending to begin his descent. During those three days he tried to build a resolve and calm down, but…Kyoko. He still loved her. But he still felt determined to hold to his objective. He numbed his heart and locked it in an ice box. He felt rather satisfied by his short trip. When he got back, he'd at least be more composed. She didn't love him. So what. He would forget it and move forward as he'd always done.

Suddenly he heard a man's yell accompanied by a deep rumbling. Ren rushed to the left side of the mountain where the sound was coming from. A huge wave of snow came hurtling down the valley. He looked around for possible survivors, for he was certain he'd a voice screaming. Carefully, he took a long rope out of his bag which he fastened to a tree before beginning to go down on the abrupt mountain face. A few meters lower, he saw what looked like a piece of colored cloth peeping out from under the snow. He checked the ground for stability before he dug to save the unfortunate victim of the avalanche. After some effort, the man was free and was slowly recovering his awareness.

- "Sir, we need to hurry," Ren told him, "We shouldn't stay here. The side could fall––Are you able to move? We need to climb to the trail where I came from. It'll be safer."

The man tried to move, but his legs hurts immediately. Ren examined the wound. He found some branches which had been brought down by the avalanche and broke them to make a makeshift splint. He fixed it with his scarf to block the leg and protect it.

- "You're going to have to hold on to me. I'm going to climb with you on my back."

- "It's impossible!"

- "Don't worry, everything will go smoothly. Hold on."

Ren helped the man sit down and knelt down so that he could grab onto his back. When the man held on firmly, the actor lifted the wounded person and began to climb along the rope. The snow around them made the ascent more difficult. Whole patches of ice threatened to fall down. Ren climbed the slippery slope pushing his studs into the blocks of ices which seemed the most solid and pulling them both up the rope with the strength of his arms. He'd gone almost half the way when another rumbling thundered. In front of them, an impressive mass of snow fell down from the mountain and took everything on its way. Ren clutched the rope while the snow flood submerged them. He felt the stranger arms falling down from his neck, fingers sliding with a hope to hold on. Ren kept hold of the rope with just one hand and snatched up the unfortunate man before he completely fall down. Their abused bodies danced in the flood of ice, rocking from right to left as fishes in a line. With a firm hand, Ren held the man's wrist. He pulled him closer so that the stranger could on better. Propelled against the wall, Ren absorbed the shock with his right side to protect the wounded man from crashing his head, but the impact made him release his grip and they were both taken by the end of the avalanche.

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW**

**AND MANY MANY THANKS TO MY BETA READER "theYellowDello"... THANK YOU SO MUCH**


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